DeAnne Smith

Comedian. Writer. Trouble-maker.

Nanny Square 3

Amazingly, the correspondence continues to continue!

My last reply, in which I implied that the baby would be in danger at the new and alcohol-soaked Nanny Square, seemed to concern Ben Cury. He quickly assuaged his fears, though, with thoughts of how I could go shopping for his child.

I really understand you living with sister boyfriend..so how are you going to take care of my child ? why i want to send the payment to you is bcos my child may need shopping when she arrive .. also i want to send you your payment as well so if you email me your full contact details then i can know the address where my child is going to …

try and understand …

I decided to crank it up a notch.

DEAR CURRZY BEN, THANK YOU FOR UDNERSTANDING. AS I KNEW, YOU VERY TRUSTWORLDLY PERSON AND KIND HARDED. I SEE YOUR POINT OF BABY MAY NEED SHOPPING WHEN SHE ARRIVE. I LOVE SHOPPING FOR BABY! ALL SMALL THINGS-SO CUTE-AND SMALL DRESSES AND TINYTINY HIGH HEELS FOR EXTRA DRESS UP SEXY.

I PREFER TO TELL YOU MY ADDRESS OVER PHONE. DO NOT HAVE MEMORIZED FOR TYPING YET BUT I CAN GO TO LAUNDROMAT NEXT DOOR (VENDING MACHINE, TOO! SALT AND VINEGAR CHIPS) USE PAY PHONE AND READ STREET SIGNS FOR BEST DIRECTION IF YOU CALL. PLUS BETTER BCOS I DON’T KNOW HOW LONG I WILL BE HERE (FOR YELLING, BRUISES, ETC.). MAYBE ADDRESS WILL CHANGE SOON.

WHAT IS YOUR PHONE NUMBER? I WILL CALL YOU WITH MORE DETAILS.

P.S. DONT WORRY I WILL TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR BABY THEO I TOTALY UNDERSTAND YOUR SITUATION SOMETIMES BABY IS A PAIN IN THE YOU KNOW (HAHAHA) AND YOU MUST USE NANNY FOR PART TIME CARE. I WILL TAKE GOOD CARE WATCHING BABY AND PLAYING NOT DANGEROUS WITH BABY.

PLEASE REPLY ME BACK YOUR PHONE NUMBER URGENT…WE WILL DISCUSS!

Have I foiled Ben into telling me his phone number? Why are the laundromat’s salt and vinegar chips so delicious? And seriously, why are skinny, anemic dudes running around in super tight black jeans these days? The answers to at least one of these questions on the next installment of Nanny Square!

 

1 Comment

  1. >Those fake check scammers are so annoying. I am surprised that they keep writing back! Very entertaining to read. http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2006/08/craigslist_scam.html

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